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Only pretend at first that I don’t. Lily kept her hand on my arm as she turned to Jill. ‘He’s ready.’ I didn’t know what they were talking about. I didn’t care. I felt great. Just, you know. I’m going to love it. Whatever it is. I’ll love anything at all. Jill leaned against Desmond, white flesh against obsidian muscle. ‘Baby,’ she said to him, pointing a toned and pale arm at me. ‘Rape.’ Desmond grinned, rose from his chair, and stalked over to me. He gripped the front of my shirt and lifted me up and slammed me down on the deck. All my breath exploded out of me. He knelt and pressed his knee into my sternum and clamped a massive hand over my mouth and nose. I couldn’t breathe. He brought his face over mine. He spoke smoothly, softly, and firmly. ‘You want to live?’ I nodded. I saw my pretend fear in his mirrored sunglasses. I looked very convincing. He pulled his hand off, calmly slapped my face hard, and then again, and then again. My world exploded in light. I hurt. Then he. Life changes so fast sometimes, you can’t keep up. That night I did a lot of thinking about Beth. As hard as it was to accept, it would be extremely difficult to be with Beth. I had no clue how the family would react, then I know Lance would be as difficult as he could be. Perhaps, this is for the best. I decided to call it a night about eleven and go to bed. As I climbed into bed, I realized that a year had passed since my first encounter with Beth. Somehow, it had not seemed that long ago.The phone woke me up the following morning about nine-thirty. I looked at the clock, surprised at the time. I answered the phone, it was my mother-in-law.“Merry Christmas, Jeff.” She said, “Dad and I love you.”“Merry Christmas Mom, I love you too.” I replied.It was always hard for us during the holidays. Even after all this time, you never really get over it. She then asked me if I had spoken to Beth. I told her no, but that she had called. She went on to tell me that Beth and Lance had reconciled.
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